So, @WhovianLeap has issued a challenge to write an update of the extremely dire charity single, “Doctor In Distress.” Here’s my version, dedicated to the absolutely wonderful Sophie Aldred.
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If you cast your mind back and try to remember, Back to 1987, to a different November, Dragonfire was the story and it wasn’t a banger, (Most people just cite it for the awful cliffhanger) But it was there in Iceworld, out there somewhere in space, We met a girl called Dorothy Gale, but she called herself Ace.
Bring back, bring back Ace! All leather jacket and badges, not dresses and ribbons! Bring back, bring back Ace! Bring her back before she‘s as old as Bernard Cribbins!
She travelled with Seven throughout the cosmos and time, He had a question mark umbrella, she had “Nitro-Nine.” And when she met a Dalek, how we all cheered at home, When she took a powered bat and bashed in his done! She was a streetwise girl in a place with no streets, AND NO, IT’S NOT CANON THAT GLITZ HAD HER BETWEEN THE SHEETS.
(Chorus) Bring back, bring back Ace! She deserves to come back, yes we mean this! Bring back, bring back Ace! They brought back Alpha Centauri, who‘s freaking shaped like a penis!
Somewhere the sky is burning and the cities are songs. And only two people can help write all their wrongs, Somewhere there’s danger and injustice that needs action bold, And somewhere else the tea is getting a little too cold. So they walked off together, her and her Time Lord friend, There’s no way you can tell me this is how it should end!
(Chorus) Bring back, bring back Ace! Let‘s welcome Sophie Aldred back from out of the cold! Bring back, bring back Ace!
She has an unfinished story—
And her story is worth being told.